I had a hard time letting go of the possibility that we could go anywhere or do anything. It wasn’t that I desired that sort of freedom. In fact, I think it’s pretty obvious in this story that the lack of direction was difficult for us. What I really struggled with was the thought that we might mess up this opportunity by making the wrong decision.
My husband continued to assure me that seeking out an opportunity to relocate within his company made the most sense, and I knew that ultimately he had the final say. Although we still made room in the back of our minds for the possibility that the Lord would provide a specific direction, we’d grown skeptically optimistic that at least the endless possibilities had been narrowed down to the number of locations that had offices Kel could relocate to within the company he was working for – a mere twenty-something cities.
With each passing day, the desire to be in our own house again grew stronger as we realized that apartment-living was not ideal for the two of us. By taking into consideration cost of living and the likelihood of home-ownership near the potential office, we further eliminated prospects – leaving just a handful of remaining options for consideration.
By late July, Middle Tennessee was on our radar. There were a few reasons that added up to make this particular location stand out – the housing market looked promising, the target demographic for our marriage photography business was growing, we had been through the area before and thought it was beautiful, and it was distant enough that it stretch our comfort zone and eliminate the rut we’d been living in without requiring a flight to get home. We weren’t exactly able to put our finger on it, but out of all of the places we’d tossed around, this was the first one that we were truly excited about – both of us equally.
The only obstacle standing in our way? There wasn’t a position available for Kel to apply for. Nonetheless, dreams about our future began resembling the rolling hills of Tennessee. We began talking about what it would be like to live in The South and brushed up on our country-music dance moves. I frequented the real-estate sites just to see what was available, and Kel would text me his interesting-fact-findings about the area.
It wasn’t an answer, but it was a glimmer of hope that one was heading our direction.
By mid-August, we were all but settled on calling The Volunteer State our new home. Yet that one “minor” detail that everything rested on – a job opportunity for the Mister – had yet to present itself. I wish I could say that I lovingly supported my husband in his decision to hold off on submitting a single application anywhere, but to be honest my patience was wearing thin. It was a daily effort to land on the side of trusting him when given the choice between that and worrying about what everyone else must be thinking about our inability to make a decision.
We were rapidly approaching two months in the apartment. Sixty days is a long time to sit and wait without taking a single step. And though it was a painful couple of months, it went fast. Too fast. Because we were still just hanging out – no answers, no real decision about what we were going to do next, not even so much as something in the works.
Late August was approaching when that tiny glimmer of hope came more in to focus. At last! A job opportunity that offered promise. An application was finally submitted. A single line cast in the hopes of getting a bite in Murfreesboro, TN.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that there would be more uncertainty involved. Not just days. Weeks.
Applying for a job is hardly a guarantee that you are going to get the position, so every day that passes without so much as an interview requested chips away at the hope that it can still even be considered a possibility. As the weeks of hearing nothing passed by, our hope that this was finally our definitive answer began to dim.
So we extended our lease by one month giving ourselves until the end of November to have another option lined up and ready to move in. And then we continued doing what we should have been masters of by that point. We waited.
-m
COMING UP, NEXT WEEK:
