the kitchen and what we’re really leaving behindsemi-sweet morsels

There’s nothing really grand about our kitchen. It’s small, and usually messy. We have meager appliances, nothing-fancy counter tops, and barely enough cupboard space to fit all of those cute bowls I like to collect. Even though I couldn’t cook worth a darn when we moved in, the kitchen (and how open it is) was probably one of my favorite things about this house when we bought it.

I love it even more today. Not because it is my dream kitchen, but because there is so much of us in that space and for the memories that have been made here. Cooking along side my love, breakfasts at the island, chasing my puppy around the table, lots of wine, even more coffee, and so so many slow dances in front of that stove…

. . .

We haven’t forgotten that we have to actually list this home in order to sell it. Believe, it or not, we seriously are still working on it. Pretty much all that’s left is some deep cleaning, and then actually going through the process of listing it. Sounds simple enough, but with all of the other demands on us right now (including running a business that is in the midst of a huge change as well) that has proven more difficult than we hoped. Of course, just as we were getting lots done over the weekend, we ended up having to put things on hold while the Mister was out for a couple of days with a stomach bug. I’ll be honest – that wasn’t easy for either of us. Sitting idle when my list was a mile long was pretty much torture, so I did everything I could do on my own while remaining quiet enough for him to rest.

I was a little frustrated that something out of our control was, yet again, preventing us from meeting a goal we had set. And then I was reminded of one of our truths that I shared last week: Everything will work out in God’s timing.

Each box of our stuff that we’ve either hauled to storage or gotten rid of, has been extremely emotional. And in many ways it has been therapeutic. The more that we reminisce about this house, the more we recognize that it isn’t just the house we are saying goodbye to – it’s the couple that moved in here all those years ago. The dreams that they had and the goals that they shared. Everything from the ridiculous arguments they had because they didn’t know any better, to the conversations about which bedroom would one day become a nursery. In a lot of ways, I feel like we let them down and it’s hard to leave here without that happy ending they longed for.

The truth is, we aren’t those people any more. We know that it is time to prepare to move onward, and although they will always be a part of us, we will be leaving that couple behind us. It may sound silly, but we believe that we are still at 1644 because we are still suppose to be. Of course we are excited about the new life that is waiting for us. But for the time being, that life is nothing but a blur. This season is about us letting go, and we still have some saying good-bye to do.

One day soon, we’ll have said our final farewell. This house will be empty, and we’ll drive away from the hopes and dreams of the young husband and wife we were when we moved in for the last time. As we head toward our new destination, we won’t be staring at the rear-view mirror wondering why it couldn’t have worked out differently. We’ll be gazing ahead at our new life together, anxiously awaiting the moment when it comes in to focus.

-m

As we begin taking steps to move, we are doing some reminiscing and appreciating the life that’s been lived at 1644. Find more from our first house here.