This morning I had a mini breakdown over an email that was returned as undeliverable. Through welled-up eyes, I struggled to make out the letters to double check that I had typed the address correctly. I just kept going over it, one letter at a time, again and again. As though somehow staring long enough would create an error where there hadn't been one before. Normal[...]

...It is something we haven't slipped into for a very long time. And it is painful. Like skin freshly released from the shelter of a cast suddenly aware of the subtle movements of air, it physically aches to be wrapped in the susceptible fabric of desire. The cloak of resistance beckons...BUT GOD.

Initially, I had thought this update should be held off for a few more weeks. I guess to a degree I figured by then we'd have the home study finalized and I would have more clarity - specific answers - for all of the questions I knew were looming. But I realize that more than anything, that's probably what you really want to know - where we are in the process, and wha[...]

It's not as though you are walking around on the verge of a breakdown every day. The ache of infertility is a constant drip, and just like anything, you learn to manage it. To have joy and live a full life in spite of the hurt. There are several occasions that you know are going to be a challenge. Some you can even brace yourself for ahead of time, or maybe even tr[...]