If you’ve been keeping track, it has been well over two weeks since we set the goal to have our house on the market. And no, it still. isn’t. listed. Although, we’ve been saying it for weeks, it is definitely getting closer and more real by the moment. We rented a storage unit yesterday and moved out all of the boxes we have already packed along with a few pieces of furniture to help open up the space. Even our voices sound different in here now.
I find myself constantly wondering why this feels like such a huge undertaking. Why is it taking such an extreme emotional toll on us? People move all the time! What on earth is taking us so long to process this, let alone get everything ready? What have we even been doing these past several weeks? When I pause long enough to really consider why I’m so stressed about the timeline, it has everything to do with “what other people think” and absolutely nothing to do with what Kel and I know to be true.
The world around us is often so loud that we struggle to differentiate between the noise and the known. We are easily swayed by the drive to live up to the standards of others, and are convinced that if we lack any control, it must be because we are weak. We are foolish. We are careless. We are lazy… Of course those arguments sound reasonable, so we accept it as fact and give everything we have to overcoming said deficiencies. Our mind jumps five steps ahead of our actions, and before long, we are just running as fast as we can to keep up with the chaos that consumes us. Eventually, we find that the path we were on has vanished and we are moving, no longer in a particular direction, but instead simply for motion’s sake.
In times such as these, when the road beneath us is nothing but a blur, what we really need is definition. The best way we know how to find that clarity is by silencing all the misleading outside pressures, and listening solely to what we know to be true. We call this process consulting our truths and it has become an almost daily operation. If you looked at our refrigerator right now, you’d find it covered in several of these lists. They aren’t lovely. In fact, they are so blah that they almost send my creative mind into a frenzy and I wish I had the time to make them pretty. Or at least artistically simple. But they are real. They are oh so very real.
From the outside, it may seem as though we are just taking our sweet time getting our house ready to sell. But within these walls, there is really so much more taking place than merely moving stuff. It’s difficult to put into words, especially when we aren’t exactly sure what it means ourselves, but basically we believe that it was suppose to have taken us this long. We hope that one day we will be able to look back with an understanding of why so many other aspects of our lives have also been experiencing change and growth at a time when it seems least convenient. And we are trusting that everything will work together according to God’s timing and purpose.
We don’t have all the answers, but deep down we feel that leaving 1644 will be so much more than simply a change in our address. It feels as though we are closing one chapter of our lives, and we are preparing (and being prepared) for the next – whatever that my be. Of course we have ideas, dreams, and ambitions. We even have a few plans. The reality, however, is that we are expecting to sell our home, we don’t have another one waiting for us, and we know that things don’t always work out according to our plans. But that’s ok. Because our truth is that His plan has always been greater than our own.
-m
As we begin taking steps to move, we are doing some reminiscing and appreciating the life that’s been lived at 1644. Find more from our first house here.
